Episode 353: How to Create Opportunities by Listening to Your Heart, with Debi Hemmeter

Debi Hemmeter on How to Create Opportunities by Quieting the External Noise

Debi Hemmeter is the president of the Inner Mountain Foundation and the co-founder of the global Lean In movement alongside Sheryl Sandberg. Before that, she spent 25 years as a Fortune 50 executive. These days, her work is all about helping women quiet the outside noise and listen to their own hearts. From that place, she shows you how to create opportunities, even when there’s no obvious door in front of you.

I’m Sarah Walton, a wealth consciousness coach, and on this podcast I talk all the time about how the pathways to wealth are always here. We just don’t always see them. And by wealth, I mean more than money. I also mean loving what you do and living by your own rules.

Right now, so many women feel like the economy, the competition, or someone else’s rules get to decide what’s possible. If that sounds familiar, girlfriend, listen to this one looking for evidence for yourself. So pop in those earphones, take these lessons to heart, and let’s get to it.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The “dash” Debi uses to decide what to do with her life
• How a guessed Harvard email address got a reply from Sheryl Sandberg within 30 minutes
• The year and a half of trust-building that came before Debi left Bank of America for good
• How a fitness retreat in the Hamptons turned into five years of work with trainer Tracy Anderson
• How Debi’s daughter got her dream role at the Four Seasons when there was no open job
• Why I say hating what you do every day is a form of poverty, no matter what your bank account says
• What Sheryl taught Debi about resilience after loss
• Simple ways to start hearing your own heart, including Debi’s free masterclass

Listen to the full episode

Watch the Full Episode

The Dash Between Birth and Death: Why Debi Chose to Create Opportunities for Women

Debi loved her corporate career. She loved her brands, and she was helping people every day. Still, a moment came when she knew she needed to do something more and really give back.

Today, she lifts up young women, mid-career women, and women relaunching their lives. She also has the simplest way of explaining why.

“There’s a dash between your birth and your death. And that dash is what will be talked about at your eulogy.” — Debi Hemmeter

For Debi, that dash is about letting other women know that anything is possible. But she’s clear there’s only one way to get there. You have to quiet the external noise and listen to yourself.

As someone who meditates for about an hour every day, I told Debi her message needs to be on bumper stickers everywhere. The answer is never outside of us.

Comparison Culture Didn’t Start With Social Media

Neither of us grew up with social media, but we definitely grew up with magazines. Oh my gosh, I remember lying in my room with my leg warmers on, hoping the radio would play my favorite song. Meanwhile, I’d be looking at photos of Brooke Shields in her Jordache ads and Cindy Crawford. We looked at what was “perfect,” and then we tried to be like that.

Debi sees the same thing with young women today. When her daughters take a break from social media, she can literally see their happiness go up, and their anxiety go down.

Comparison isn’t really a weakness, you guys. It’s more like the air we’re breathing. That’s why quieting it takes intention. For Debi, that might look like meditation, journaling, or surrounding yourself with a tribe of people who support and encourage you. Once you do, you start to see what really fulfills you and gets you out of bed in the morning. From there, it gets much easier to create opportunities that actually fit you.

How One Email Helped Debi Create Opportunities With Sheryl Sandberg

Back at Bank of America, Debi ran the bank’s fifth-largest retail market. She led 1,600 employees, and about 80% were women. At her level, though, there were very few women. Her team wanted to grow so badly. While the bank taught them great skills for helping customers, it didn’t teach them how to speak up for themselves.

Then Debi watched Sheryl Sandberg’s 2010 TED Talk. She didn’t even know who Sheryl was yet. Still, she knew this message was something her employees could use for themselves. On top of that, she had two daughters in middle school, and she wanted them to be unapologetically ambitious.

So Debi took a shot. Because Sheryl went to Harvard, Debi guessed she’d kept her .edu email address. She wrote to her, shared her story, and said she wanted to turn the TED Talk into a global movement. Within 30 minutes, Sheryl wrote back herself and invited Debi to Facebook.

From Bank of America to Lean In

At that first meeting, Debi offered to quit Bank of America and run the movement. Sheryl wasn’t ready yet, since she had a company to take public. Over the next year and a half, they built trust. Finally, in August 2012, Sheryl called and asked if Debi would really leave the bank. Debi said yes, and they launched Lean In in March 2013.

Sheryl’s book spent 18 weeks at number one on the New York Times list. Today, Lean In is in more than 180 countries and all branches of the U.S. military. That’s what can happen when you decide to create opportunities instead of waiting for permission.

“I always say that there’s so much wealth available to us. Pathways are always here for us. We just don’t always see them.” — Sarah Walton

Debi’s email is exactly what I mean by wealth consciousness. She listened to herself, took one small action, and found a path most people would never have seen.

You Can Create Opportunities, Even Without an Open Job

Debi wants you to know that anybody can do this. In fact, she shared two more stories to prove it.

The first one is about fitness trainer Tracy Anderson. Debi had followed her since her 20s, back when she worked at PepsiCo and Madonna was the brand ambassador. In 2017, she went to Tracy’s vitality week in the Hamptons. Both women were going through a divorce, and they became close friends. Eventually, Debi told Tracy she wanted to help grow her business and asked, “What’s your biggest problem?”

During COVID, Tracy’s online business exploded. That’s when she called Debi to help build a customer service team. Debi had never done that before, but Tracy said, “I trust you. You’ll figure it out.” Debi ended up working with her for five years.

When Debi said, “You can create the jobs that you love,” I told her I could die happy right now.

How Debi’s Daughter Got a Job That Didn’t Exist Yet

Her second story is about her 27-year-old daughter. After five years at Google, her daughter decided it was time for a change. So Debi asked her two questions. What’s your favorite brand, and what do you want to do there? The answer was the Four Seasons. Five interviews later, she started in the exact role she wanted. And when she began, there wasn’t even an open job.

“If you are that focused and passionate on the brand and what you want to do, you can create opportunities.” — Debi Hemmeter

This is why I talk about abundance and wealth all the time. It might sound woo-woo, but it’s not. It’s about focus. Plus, if you can solve a problem, people pay you. So you can call almost anyone and ask, “What is the problem I can help you solve?” That one question is how you create opportunities other people don’t even know exist.

Outward Success Isn’t the Same as Wealth

A lot of people have outward success that’s really a mask. They’ve hit every marker, yet they don’t feel connected to what they do. Chasing those markers rarely helps you create opportunities you’ll love.

“I don’t care what your bank account says. If you hate what you do every day, you are living in extreme poverty.” — Sarah Walton

Debi has seen this everywhere. From an early age, we learn that success means a title, money, and the right car. As a result, people chase those markers and then go home completely burnt out. They can’t engage with their families. Some start drinking too much or put band-aids on things to keep the outside looking good. Debi came from a middle-class family, and she admits she fell into it too. Over time, it turned into a grind.

Her advice is to watch for one simple signal.

“If you keep having to hit your snooze alarm, that is a signal to you.” — Debi Hemmeter

Money alone doesn’t make your problems disappear, either. For people who only have money, my heart breaks. When you’ve done everything everyone else told you to do, and no one is there with you, that’s a lonely place. Our world is kind of backwards that way. We hear that once we get the thing, then we’ll be happy. Instead, you make yourself happy first, and then the rest can come in.

Resilience Is a Muscle You Can Build

Debi believes another key to happiness is resilience, for both our kids and ourselves. This was another gift Sheryl gave her. In 2015, Sheryl’s husband, Dave, died suddenly, leaving her with two young children. To heal and find joy again, she had to understand resilience.

A year later, Debi went through a divorce she wasn’t prepared for. It shattered her. But she had Sheryl, who had written Option B.

“What Sheryl taught me was that resilience is a muscle that can grow. It’s not finite.” — Debi Hemmeter

As a mom, Debi wanted to protect her daughters from everything. Over time, though, she chose to talk with them about hard things, sitting right next to them. That way, they could ask questions in a safe place instead of hearing it from friends on their phones. After all, nobody has a perfect world—even the people with the most money deal with loss and lawsuits. What matters is how you navigate it.

I don’t think resilience and grit get talked about enough. The beautiful thing is that you build both on the inside. That’s also where you find clarity.

“If you are clear, it is easier to be resilient. If you are clear, it’s easier to hang on to that grit because you are coming home to your own heart every day.” — Sarah Walton

How to Listen to Your Heart So You Can Create Opportunities

Clarity gets skewed so early on. From the time we’re young, it gets spoon-fed to us that we’re supposed to want this, that, and the other. I grew up in the ’80s, when Richie Rich and the rich and famous were a big deal, and the message was that money is all that matters. If you were taught that too, Debi has a few practical places to start.

First, your vibe is your tribe. Make sure the people around you support you. Debi actually went to therapy over this. Growing up, she believed that once someone was your friend, you stayed through the good times and the bad. A few of her friendships, however, were a little toxic. Therapy helped her see that you can make changes in a kind, compassionate way.

“If they no longer serve your energy, it’s okay to edit who is in your life.” — Debi Hemmeter

Next, try mindfulness and journaling with great prompts. You can also go for walks in nature without music or a podcast on. Just let the external noise go quiet. On top of that, Debi’s free masterclass walks you through how to listen to your heart.

Debi admits she isn’t a great meditator. She can do a sound bath with music, but not an hour a day like me. That’s exactly the point, though. There isn’t one pathway, and we’re all out to find the one that works best for us.

Keep Your Skills Up and Take Action to Create Opportunities

When I asked Debi what she wants you to take from our conversation, she talked about how fast the world is changing. In her view, you can’t plan much further out than 18 months. So keep your skill sets up. Instead of saying you need to do something, schedule it and do it today.

“Aspirational thoughts are not going to get you there. You have to actually take action.” — Debi Hemmeter

That goes for women who choose to stay home with their kids, too. Debi has no judgment about that choice at all. Still, she encourages you to keep your mind engaged, even if it’s consulting 10 hours a week. You never know what pivots your life will take, and staying sharp helps you create opportunities when you’re ready.

People often tell Debi her stories only worked because Sheryl and Tracy are so big. Her answer is to look at the worst-case scenario. Sheryl could have ignored the email or said she wasn’t interested. So how bad is that, really?

“The worst thing is not trying.” — Debi Hemmete

Like I told her, what else are we going to do? Watch more Netflix?

What I Want You to Know: You Can Always Create Opportunities

Debi gave us three great pieces of evidence of how this works in real life. Here’s what I want you to take with you.

“There is always a pathway to living the life that you really want to live, to living a life without other people’s rules, to live a life that is true to your heart and your soul.” — Sarah Walton

We live in a world where people don’t believe that, and I’m out to help you believe it. True wealth means being happy and fulfilled in every area of your life. Money is part of it, but it’s not everything. When you get clear on what you want, you can create opportunities that fit the life you actually want to live.

About Debi Hemmeter

Debi Hemmeter is the President of the Inner Mountain Foundation and co-founder of the global Lean In movement alongside Sheryl Sandberg. With 25+ years as a Fortune 50 executive at PepsiCo, Wells Fargo, and Bank of America, Debi now helps individuals — and the organizations that serve them — stop chasing external noise and start leading from the inside out. She is based in Los Angeles and is a proud mom of two daughters who are, in her words, “leaning in all the way.”

Connect with Debi

• Website: Inner Mountain Foundation
• Instagram: @inner_mountain_foundation
• LinkedIn: Inner Mountain Foundation
• TikTok: @innermountainfoundation
• YouTube: Inner Mountain Foundation

Debi’s Free Gift — The Inner Mountain Foundation Masterclass

If you’re ready to start quieting the external noise, Debi’s free masterclass is a great place to begin. It’s all about listening to your heart, and it walks you through how to get there, even if meditation isn’t your thing yet.

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Related Episodes You’ll Love

Episode 331: How to Quiet the Noise and Hear Your Intuition with Diana Firth — Debi talks about quieting the external noise so you can hear your own heart. Diana takes that even further and shares how simplifying your life and clearing mental clutter helps your intuition get louder. Listen here

Episode 310: How One Courageous Conversation Led to Impacting 11.6 Million Lives with Carrie Rich — Debi’s email to Sheryl Sandberg shows what one bold move can open up. Carrie shares how she learned to create opportunities of her own, from mopping floors to impacting 11.6 million lives worldwide, plus her napkin financial planning strategy. Listen here

Episode 265: Rewrite Your Unspoken Rules to Live Like You’re on Permanent Vacation with Marni Battista — In this episode with Debi, I asked, “Who wrote those rules?” Marni shares how to discover and dismantle the unspoken rules running your life, so you can design a life you don’t want to retire from. Listen here

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Let’s Talk About How to Create Opportunities in Your Business

You might be noticing where other people’s rules have been deciding what’s possible for you. If so, let’s talk. As my gift to Girlfriends, I offer a free 30-minute discovery call. Together, we’ll look at where you are right now and which pathways might be waiting for you.

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Connect with Sarah

• Instagram: @thesarahwalton
• LinkedIn: Sarah Walton
• Free resources for you
• Join the Game On Girlfriend® community — subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube

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Love This Episode?

Think about someone in your life who’s having a hard time right now. Maybe she keeps hitting dead ends, or she can’t figure out her best next step. Share this episode with her, so she can see how possible it is to shift in a moment and create something new.

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About Sarah Walton

Sarah Walton is a wealth consciousness coach, strategic advisor, and the host of the Game On Girlfriend® podcast. Her mission is simple: to put more money in the hands of more women. She helps women entrepreneurs build profitable, sustainable businesses without burnout — working through both the mindset and the strategy sides of growth. Because when women have more financial power, they don’t just keep it — they use it to take care of their families, support their communities, and build something bigger than themselves. Through her programs — including the Abundance Academy and The Art of Receiving — along with her online courses and one-on-one coaching, Sarah works with women who are ready to build profitable businesses and use that financial power to make a real difference in the world around them.