Episode 197: Money Beliefs That Hold You Back from Making More
Does any of this sound familiar? Rich people are bad. It's not okay to show up your parents. We've worked so hard for everything that we have. Money doesn't grow on trees. We will never be able to afford it. And only people who don't love their families spend or make a lot of money. Those might sound a little bit harsh, but I bet a couple of them hit.
They’re the kind of money messages lobbed at women in business, but also those we heard in childhood. Maybe you don't ever put yourself in first class. Maybe you don't ever buy those shoes you want. While I am absolutely a proponent of not spending irresponsibly, there is a middle ground in that you have an experience of what it is to enjoy the money that you've actually earned.
In this episode, I want to dig into those messages we hear as women and how remnants of conversations we heard in childhood can affect the beliefs we have about money now.
Money beliefs started at dinner
I’ll start. My mother was married to my stepfather until I was about 13 years old. He was a defense lawyer with his own practice. I would say probably 50% of the dinners centered around a single conversation: all those crooks.
One of the phrases that I would hear so often from him is “I've worked so hard for this guy, [and he would list all the things he's done] and this guy hasn't paid me a single dime.” As a young girl listening to this, I would say to myself, “Making money is too hard. Look at the trouble that this is causing.”
My stepfather would talk about how much money they had. Boating at Lake Powell was a symbol of wealth when I was a child. He would talk about their boats, the size of their houses, the cars that they drove -- those crooks!
From this, the second belief that I started to have was, “I don't want to be a crook.” That really sunk in for me. I don't want to be a crook. Bad people make money. Only rich people must steal or be dishonest to be that rich. Unspoken rules inside of a family are very, very powerful.
Money messages we absorb as women
There are so many beliefs out there like that that have us not want to make money. We have the combination of what you may have heard in your childhood -- like I did -- and what you may be hearing now.
That’s a nice hobby.
Does your husband make a lot of money?
How long have you been doing this?
Did you go to school for this?
It's so interesting to see there's sort of this edge of are you really worthy of making this money?
What beliefs are holding you back? As you sit down to work, there are small steps you might stop yourself from doing – reaching out for a speaking engagement, a new launch, or an email campaign.
What is the money belief? What has you back away from the computer instead of sending that email? What has you put your phone down instead of calling someone back? No one tries to self-sabotage. In that moment, something besides your higher self is working. Something besides your biggest dreams and goals is taking the reins. What is it? And this is really important that you find this.
I want you making more money. The world needs you to make more money. It is our responsibility to look at what keeps us from performing at the highest heights of our abilities and what prevents us from participating in the incredibly powerful conversations.
