Episode 153: Loneliness: The Truth About Entrepreneurship That No One Tells You About

By Sarah Walton | December 6, 2022

The path to entrepreneurship can be lonely – people in your life, your community and your world won’t always understand what you’re doing. In this episode I’m going to talk about a couple of truths around this loneliness, so you can be aware and know what to do when it hits you.

It’s common for entrepreneurs, when they’re passionate and getting ready to launch something new into the world, to pass up opportunities to socialize and stay in to work. There is so much extra effort to apply, and deadlines to meet. You might hear things like “But you run the business, can’t you do that later?”

This attitude is common if you’ve ever been scrolling and seen what I like to call “entrepreneur porn.” I’m sure you’ve seen it, “Oh! I’m relaxing on the beach and I made a million dollars yesterday.” Those fake posts.

When you’re an entrepreneur, your business is your baby. You're always going to wonder about it and want to be involved somehow or at least understand the trajectory of your business. What is the next idea? How are we going to take care of our customers next year? These kinds of questions and ideas are constantly rolling around in our heads, as they should be.

If we’re being honest, we need to manage ourselves, our conversations and meet people where they are, because not everyone will understand. How much do you tone out when someone's going on and on and on about the intricacies of their day job? It’s not because you don't love them. They're wonderful, but you don't understand it.

Whereas if they're talking about their relationship or they're talking about something they're passionate about -- a cause or an idea -- then you're engaged because that's what that friendship is built on. So, we want to kind of honor where our friendships are and what they're built upon, because then we know which conversations to have.

Mastermind groups can help. There is something so profound and exciting about running into your people and saying, “Oh my gosh! Yesterday I tried to do this new email and it didn't work,” and someone goes, “I went through that too, and here's what I did to fix it!”

All of a sudden you realize you’re not an anomaly, you’re not weird and the loneliness can dissipate. I cannot emphasize enough how important this is: You are not a compartmentalized human being. You are not just an entrepreneur. You are not just a spouse. You are not just a friend. You are not just a daughter. You are not just a mother. You are many, many things, and the different aspects of you deserve attention and companionship.

Ask, who gets you? Who gets your business? Find your people and watch your business succeed.

Now, the other thing I want to talk about in the entrepreneurial journey that can cause some loneliness is this idea that you will shed certain parts of your life.

The way that you use your time starts to shift and once you really get into that mode your life can feel weird to you because you're expanding at such an extraordinary rate and your life may not always keep up.

I'm sure you've had that experience right, like you go through something for most people. Unfortunately, it's like a dramatic event. Maybe you lose someone close to you or someone you love gets a diagnosis, or maybe you move right?

You recognize there are some people who just don't understand that journey. The same can happen when it's positive, right, when you start to succeed, when you, when you have given up those Friday night dinners here and there, not all the time but once in a while, right to sort of cause this success for yourself, you're going to find that your life feels different and that's OK. That's normal. We want to normalize that as well. You don't stop the process of growth by thinking there's something wrong. There's nothing wrong. This is just part of the process.

The number one thing you can do to sort of counter that so it's not so dramatic for you is to talk to your friends and family about what's going on. You might go, “but Sarah, you just told me to treat my friendships the way that they are, to meet people where they are.”

That's correct, I did, and that doesn't mean that you don't let people know what's happening for you. That's very different from expecting them to be able to relate to it.

When we know that it's really time to sort of progress into friendship, whether that means to release it or to bring that person into how your reality is changing, the most important thing we can do is inspire them about the future.

I talk a lot about how what's going on out there in the world is also happening inside of us. Right, that kind of conflict, that turmoil, this deep desire to be right, all these things that are coming. We can come in with our businesses and transform that, and we can transform that through inspiring emails, through the purpose that we've been giving, by sharing our talents, by having one amazing conversation with a customer or client every single day. That is so important. Have you ever had an interaction with someone totally changes your day.

You can be that person for everyone, and when you share that vision with the people in your life who are important to you, they will get inspired as well.

Now, instead of complaining or wishing that you weren't working so hard or not understanding how you are changing as a person, they're on the ride with you and suddenly they're fighting for your vision too, and they're supporting you in their way. And so, I really want to give you permission and sort of give you a nice, gentle Sarah Walton nudge to get out there and share your vision with your people.

You also must protect your vision, and what I mean by that is there are some people who are not ready to hear your vision. They are not read to confront their own purpose and their own dreams because it's too scary for them. When you do it, they freak out. You know who I'm talking about.

So, if you have someone that you need to protect your vision from talk about them instead. it's great. They'll fall in love with you. You'll have a great time, you'll learn more about them and life will be grand. All right, so that's my tip for that one you either share and inspire with those that you love or you have the person where you talk about them.