Episode 183: Overcome Fears in Business to Safeguard Your Freedom and Independence
No surprise, today we are talking about freedom and independence, two of my favorite topics. I don't think you’re going to be shocked, but my number one value is freedom, and it is the ability to enjoy time. It's the ability to create, is the ability to share, and to make a difference.
So, no matter how you are celebrating, I hope you can use this episode as a coaching session to just breathe, relax into what really matters to you, and notice where you are giving up your freedom and independence.
3 fears in business that affect our freedom and independence
We're going to be talking about freeing ourselves from some pretty specific, universal fears. I think it’s important that we talk about these and we really look at what we value when it comes to our own freedom and independence.
1. Fear of being seen as failing
Can we just tell the truth about this? We all have this little voice in our heads asking “What if they see me fail?” Do you know what I’m talking about? It might be not letting anyone know you’ve started a health journey because you anticipate you might fall off the wagon and you don’t want anyone to know you “failed.”
We need to understand what failing actually means. Is it missing the mark? Is it not having the exact results we thought we were going to?
Or is it not trying at all in the first place? I think the biggest form of failure for most of us business owners is not even trying. All of us have done this; I'd like to do is flip that narrative around failure so that it's not so much about the end result.
If you've even produced a result at all, and that result might be getting zero when you were aiming for 100 – that can feel like a failure. But what did you learn? Who did you become in that moment? Successful people realize they won’t be perfect all the time. The only way to perfect is to try and learn. Then we tweak and explore and expand.
If you have thoughts, if you have an idea, if you feel a nudge to go talk to somebody, I want you to consider it a massive success. If you go do that, even if "go do that thing" means you write it down or you put it in your calendar for the following week -- that's a massive success, and right there, between you and me, you've already done more than 90% of most people.
I’d love for us to free ourselves from the idea that only the end result matters.
2. The fear of going big
How many of us have a fear of success, a fear of going big? And I think for women, it’s “if I succeed at one more thing, more people are going to need me.” I totally get it. If I succeed at that one thing, people are going to expect me to do it again. They're going to expect me to get better. I don’t want us to live there.
As we get bigger, as we do succeed, what there is for us to do in those moments is check in with us. If we do that, there’s nothing to fear. I have come to understand that this fear of success, this fear of going big, is actually that we're afraid we're going to lose “us.” People will demand more from us; we’re going to feel more lost.
One of the ways that we deal with that so that we can have freedom around success, so we can feel independent around the word success, is that we consistently check in with ourselves.
- Am I happy?
- Am I fulfilled?
- Do I need to delegate this?
There are people who are 10s at editing and copywriting – whatever it is they are 10s at what they love to do! Are they on your team so that you can do your 10? I think that's so important for us to remember that success doesn't mean we have to do it all and, as women that’s what we've been told.
I think there's so much we can do to free ourselves from this fear of success in our businesses if we look at how well we trust ourselves, and that is something women are taught not to do. I want to be really clear with you about that. We are taught not to trust ourselves.
It's going to be on us to help each other, to cheer each other on as we succeed. What do you need? How can I support you? Do you have the right team? Is there anyone I can refer to you? How are you feeling about all this? Being that sounding board for each other, to call each other to our best, even as we succeed can free us from this fear of success.
3. The fear of judgment
I think the biggest judgment that we’re afraid of is being seen as starting small. Let's call it out: “Listen, this is the first time I'm doing this. I’d love your feedback, I'd love to know what you guys think about this business idea, and I'm super excited about it!” That kind of honesty is missing in a lot of places.
Reframe it. How cool is it that someone is starting something new? How cool is it that someone is trying something? We should be screaming to the rafters about how awesome that is, and creating an environment where that's a safe thing to do.
I think this idea that everything is possible if we at least get started is one that we can hold onto together; we can free ourselves from this idea that people are judging us all the time. And they probably are. People are going to judge you anyway, you might as well do what you love. The judgment is an internal monologue; it doesn’t have an effect on someone else’s life. We can all move past that, and the more that we model that for other people, the more other people can follow suit. All of us are judging all the time; let's keep moving anyway. We can be honest about that. It loses all of its power, and then you get to go write the book and launch the podcast. Do the thing.
What I have come to understand about us is that there is so much more that we are capable of, and that is not meant to put pressure on you. I think we actually create more, and we accomplish more when we're relaxed.
Observe the fears
My challenge for you today is to relax. My challenge for you is to observe and watch. Do you see other people being afraid of failure? Do you see other people being afraid of success? Do you see other people being afraid of what people are judging them for? Have some compassion for that. That is the path to freedom. Talking about it openly, having compassion, and honoring your thoughts, your dreams, and the little nudges that you're getting.
Enjoy this time and watch where you are afraid. Watch where you are giving up your freedoms. Watch where you're letting your own independence go so that you can get it back. Because you deserve it, and it is no one's to take from you, and that includes your own brain.
Let’s get to it!
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