Episode 175: Coaching Session: When You Need An Immediate Breakthrough
We’re going to do something a little bit different in this episode! We’re going to have a full-on coaching episode about breaking through something in your life.
As you’re listening, I want you to think about one thing you have been you feel is holding you back, that if you got through it, other parts of your life would start to pop.
Coaching questions to break through limiting beliefs
Why am I doing this now? We are in the middle in the middle of launching the Abundance Academy. I have had so many amazing conversations with women who are frustrated, and I think this episode will really help. I want you to bookmark this episode and come back and use it as often as you need.
You deserve to have your life work for you. You can learn how to get rid of roadblocks and remove barriers to your joy. In this episode, I’m going to encourage you to write, so grab a pen and journal. At this moment in our history, I want you to get to work. We need women who know how to bust through barriers.
Step 1: Identify the story holding you back
I want you to just write out quickly what is frustrating you about this one thing. It could be your health. Maybe your body doesn't respond the way that you wish it would. Maybe you're having a hard time finding your next client. Maybe you feel like your copy is still, you know, not the best. Maybe you're upset about revenue.
I want you to pick that one and write out what is frustrating about it. How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? What are you thinking about in the shower? So I want you to think about all the moments you feel frustrated throughout the day because this one thing is in your way, this one barrier is in your way.
Now please do not sidestep this question. Ask yourself: Why don’t you do this thing that you want? Why is this barrier in your way?
Do any of these usual suspects come up? It’s the economy’s fault. It’s your spouse’s fault. Maybe this is just the way it is, and you need to get a grip. (All of these are wrong, by the way.) Be honest. What’s your excuse? What’s your reason?
Maybe you feel like you have to play it safe. Maybe you’re just irresponsible. It doesn’t happen for people like you; it only happens for other people who are really great.
Step 2: Ask how is this affecting your life?
Are you locked out of connection with other people? Did you have to say no to an amazing vacation with your friends because it's just too irresponsible? Are you losing out on experiences? Is your health suffering? Are you deciding that you will fail at anything you try? Is that how this is affecting your life?
Think about this for a minute. I want you to be really, really, honest.
Now that you've sat with this ask yourself what would have happened in your life had this not been what you tell yourself.
What would your life be like if this hadn't been running the show for you? If you’re too stupid, this is just the way it is. You don't take risks. Other people are going to be more successful than you. If these are the things you've been telling yourself, what have you missed out on in life?
What has this negative story you tell yourself? What has this robbed you from in your life? What would have been possible for you?
The ripple effect is powerful, isn't it? You can see what it looks like on a day-to-day basis. As you take a step back and get honest with yourself, you’ll stop expecting things to change or thinking that tomorrow will somehow be different because this one story is running the show.
I’m going to be straight with you: These garbage stories aren’t even original. We all have the same thoughts. That's how I can rattle them off. Don't let someone else tell you what's possible.
Step 3: Removing the barrier
I want you to look at what you wrote down. I want you to look at your story again. Let’s prove that wrong because I bet you can. Look at that belief and ask yourself, what about this is not true? How can I prove that this is not true?
Have you been successful in your life? Are you stupid, or have you done amazing things? Have people been able to be successful in the middle of a bad economy? (Yep.) Have very small businesses turned incredibly successful? (Yep!).
All right now, once you have started to prove this wrong, I’d like you to do what I call “a conversation with the universe.”
Hi, universe, I am now letting this go. I have proven it false. I need you to support me in not thinking about it anymore. Is that going to happen? No, it's probably not. Our brains are very, hard-wired. These neural pathways are tight, so they probably will pop into your head again. So, what you're asking for is the support, the signs, and the ability to see opportunities that continue to prove this belief wrong and support you in moving forward without this barrier in your way. You will likely have the thought again, but it won’t be as strong, and it will get quieter.
The best part is you can’t unlearn it. Now that you know that this belief, this negative story, this thought that has been knocking you off course has been proven wrong; you can’t unlearn that. You have more power.
That’s what is so powerful about coaching: You’ve opened the door to a life without this barrier in the way. It’s up to you now that you have this support. When the story rears its ugly head, you remember it’s been proven wrong, and you move forward toward what? What is it that you want now that the barrier is gone?
My challenge for you this week is to act as though that negative story does not exist in your life and see what happens. It’s borderline magical (no magic needed!). Let's get to it!
