Episode 53: It’s Time To Tell The Truth

Smiling woman in a grey blazer hold coffee mug; text reads: It's time to tell the truth.

 

After the colossal amount of stress and change that 2020 brought us, don’t you feel UNTOUCHABLE now? What can the world possibly throw at us that we can’t handle? I think a lot of us could have done without a lot of the things that happened in 2020, but we figured it out, right? And now that we are older and wiser, there’s something we need to talk about as women as we head into this new year.

 

Let’s be honest. We’ve been trained not to speak up, not to rock the boat. We’ve been taught to be polite. We don’t ask for what we need because people might think we’re stupid and we can’t figure it out on our own. There’s something sinister at play here, and I want to make sure that in the new year we don’t carry this idea that sharing what you need somehow makes you a “bad woman.”

2021 is a time for truth

Now what I’d like for us to tell the truth about in 2021 is that we do have needs. For most women, for most of our lives, those needs have not been met. In 2020, we became the shock absorbers of society, and I say in 2021 we become the power surge. It’s time for us to tell the truth about how much we want and how much we’re willing to put up with, and to go after our goals.

You don’t need permission to start living the life you’ve always wanted.

In 2020, almost a million women left their corporate jobs. That’s more than four times the amount of men who left theirs. We constantly put ourselves last—and listen, there are times to do that. (I’m a mom too, right? I understand.) But after this last year, it’s no longer OK. And quite frankly, it’s going to be up to us to tell the truth and say, “Hey, this is not OK. My dreams matter too. My day matters too. My boundaries matter too.”

 

As we look ahead into 2021, I want to ask you: Are you going to get on the court? Are you going to do what it takes to strengthen your skills and your mental game? Are you going to be coachable? Are you going to tell the truth to the people in your life who love you? Are you going to do what it takes to be focused and ready and to demand the support that you deserve?

 

Or are you going to hang out in the back where it’s safe? I know you can see the ignorance out there and the arrogance of the people who are sitting in the stands and judging those who are actually putting it all on the line. I know it can be scary to jump onto the court and start doing what you know there is to do. But you are WISER and MORE POWERFUL this year.

Let your emotions guide you this year

As women, we excel when we allow our feelings to lead the way. But we’ve been trained not to do that. What if instead of ignoring our emotions, we actually felt them? What if we embraced their truth?

 

Our emotions are never-ending. They come up to tell us something is happening. As you start to craft this year for yourself and you start to really get excited about what’s possible for you, use your emotions to guide you. Sit with them, feel them, and let them tell the truth.

What your emotions are telling you

Anger: Anger lets you know that there has been a boundary violation.

Disappointment: Disappointment happens usually when we realize that something we want isn’t going to happen. You can reframe it as reevaluating your expectations to create the results you want.

Guilt: Guilt tells us we’ve violated one of our highest standards. Pay attention to guilt. It tells us when we’re off track.

Inadequacy: This might come up if you don’t have the skill level to match the task at hand. Figure out what’s missing, and learn what you need to learn. Sometimes inadequacy manifests as “imposter syndrome,” and that’s about not believing in yourself. Understanding the difference is important. Inadequacy will help you level up, imposter syndrome is just a fake feeling brought about by societal pressures.

Sadness: Feeling sad is one of those emotions people try not to feel. But most of the time, sadness is about letting something go. It’s not necessarily fun to go through, but it does mean we’re experiencing growth.

 

So, as we head into 2021, I’m going to ask you: What have you got to lose? You are wiser. You are more powerful. You’ve just come through something really traumatic, and you’re still here. So I say you and me, we get together and we make 2021 one of the most powerful years we can for women. And our key to that power is telling the truth.

 

Happy New Year, girlfriend! Let’s do this.

New year, new opportunities for success

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