So, there I was, sitting with my step-mother in my parent’s Los Angeles home, sobbing.
I’d finally told my dad and my step-mom about the sexual abuse from my childhood and how it had altered my perceptions of myself, my relationship with food, and most certainly my feelings of self-worth.
She listened to my heartache and my pain, and then she asked me, “Aren’t you just furious?”
My wide-eyed, fearful response was, “No, I never want to be seen as an angry person.”
“Oh, sweetheart!” she said. “Don’t ever be afraid of anger, because, anger gives you power. It tells people they can’t mess with you. Anger is so important.”
And that was the moment my love affair with anger began. It was very slow to start, and to be honest. I didn’t really believe her at first.
But as time has gone on, I’ve come to understand what she was explaining that day. It’s a little bit different from her perspective, but it has the same roots.
In my twelve-plus years of studying personal and professional development, I’ve learned to really appreciate our emotions and what they do for us. I’m so grateful for the extraordinary feedback loop they provide us.
But it’s a feedback loop that only works if we listen to it.
And most women were taught, either explicitly or through suggestion and subtle messaging, that anger in women is bad.
Peace is something we should try to maintain at all costs, and that quickly translates to, “Don’t get angry, kid.”
In this episode, I’ll dive into what anger is really trying to tell us and why it’s the most loving, most caring emotion we have.
I know, not the usual conversation we have around anger, right?
And I want to be very clear about something, while I want to urge you to feel your anger and honor it, we are all 100% responsible for how we express it.
Feeling your anger (good grief, I feel like the emperor in Return Of The Jedi, “Feel your anger Luke!” LOL!), in no way gives you an excuse to behave badly or hurt someone else.
That’s not what anger does. That’s what the ego does. You can feel your anger, understand it and make changes or say what needs to be said, but it’s not a free pass to be a jerk.
I end the episode with a little challenge for you this week. There are 2 distinct steps to the challenge, and, in conclusion, you’ll find an incredible amount of freedom if you take it on.
So if you’ve been feeling blue and you’re not sure why …
If you’ve been feeling uncomfortable or overly tired, or confused about why you can’t focus, this episode will help.
Let’s get to it.
Don’t miss last week’s Episode 68: Mindful Living Isn’t Just About Yoga and Green Drinks, It’s About Your “Stuff”